Fighting for Jo(e)y

The sky is so vast and it keeps moving, even when the things here on earth keep moving and changing. As I got down under the big blue sky, I only saw her, and that is what she meant to me, my whole world. After I proposed, and she was quite, it was all I could do to think about silly odd things to break the silence in my head than contemplate what could be her answer. Even though it may have been only about 20 seconds before she said yes, I am sure the cosmos changed in those 20 seconds. We would be together in our life. Jayeeta was the right girl for me, I had known ever since I interacted with her at the fresher’s party in college. We had been together 6yrs now, 3 in the college, and 3 at the job. Although we worked in the same city, away from home, we did to not live together. I guess it was just never an issue then.  You may ask why we did not get married right away after college. Well, in India, when you have an elder sibling, you have to be part of the same line for marriage, which you came in this world.  So, it was good that we got our time to go out actually. In college it was mostly hanging at or behind the cafeteria.

Jayeeta is a smart girl. In fact she is the first girl I actually saw reading the editorial page of an English newspaper. No matter how modern Indian girls become, they are still for Hindi soap operas than deeper thinking but not Joey. The best part was that, even though she had her satirical side, she still fell for silly jokes that I or anyone else threw at her. One time, I remember we went to a picnic spot with friends. It was such fun, to dance and play around in the September humidity. She actually felt sad when someone said that they lost their puppy without realizing that it was a zinger in Hindi for his girlfriend (puppy means a kiss in Hindi).

It was not all song and dance for us though. We talked at home after my brother got married and I was the next in line. Her parents were agreeing, my parents were a little reluctant at first. But they got onboard and we had a small ring ceremony at home. Before we could set a date for the marriage, I got an overseas assignment for 6 months and I had to leave in a week. At Finland, I was in a different world. It was a like I belonged to the life style there. The work, the party scene, the natural beauty et al. We kept in touch through internet chats and a few calls in the week. I failed to realize that what we had managed back home was no small feat. As the news of my engagement spread to the relatives, they started their usual bickering that comes along in an inter-cast wedding in India even today. It was on my weekend call at home that Mom said told me. Dad is not happy about bringing a “baniya bahu” home. The root of the matter was one uncle who cited a very sad experience from some god forsaken land. I lost my weekend to the numerous calls home to dad, my sister and mom. I did talk to Joey but it felt like blasphemy when my father was against our union. I told them that I am not letting you make any decisions until I am back in India.

After 2 months of “blasphemy” and checking up on Mom & Dad through my sister mostly, I landed back in Mumbai. Joey of course was at the gates to receive me. I felt like a soldier coming home, fighting a battle in the international waters. I was. Just that the battle raged on at home and not on the high seas. After spending quiet few days at my PG in Mumbai, I went home to confront the inevitable. My father welcomed me with a hug as did Mom. At home it was the usual. They did not want to say anything from the word go, but I could feel the tension inside me churning the space between us even in the same room. Finally, I said to Dad, “Papa, when should we fix the date, I was thinking December.” That let the fox in the chicken hole. What followed was rattling of stories from relatives, friends and even newspapers where boys married for love and ended up paying for divorce with the money, imprisonment and jail. What they failed to realize was that both our families were well to do, upper middle class families; which was primarily my argument. The culture difference was not my point to defend. I firmly believe that culture is a mix of beliefs and not an individual thing. Thus, the battle went on for 5 days, with intermittent laughter of friends and the temple visits among the Navratri celebrations. Finally on the day of Dusshera my dad conceded. It was like the victory of good over evil as symbolized since ancient times, on that day. I felt like Ram did; a killer of a very learned and wise man’s instincts. Yet, I was happy as I could get on with my life with my family and my Joey.

It will be 2 yrs this December since we got married, we both want a girl, but we will have to wait another 2 months to find out.