Selfish Walk

On the onset, let me just mention that this is the first post of the  the Jaywalker, away from Lucknow. I am writing this from Agra. The second thing I must mention here is that I am writing this post after such a long break for two reasons: One, I was working in Agra for the last almost 20months & 2, while working, I never had the time, let alone energy to contemplate & write. Now for the actual post...

As I go about my daily routine of chores at home and work in office, I have a habit of noticing people around me, not just interact with them. Those who know me, and KNOW me well would be nodding here. Going about thus, I have developed a few theories on human behavior on my own. Now I don't know if these are standard theories of psychology or they  pertain to the paranormal plain that I have in my head but nevertheless, I have come to rely on them broadly in my daily routine. One such observation which has subsequently become a theory is people are selfish. Before you go all sarcastic on me on this trivial revelation, hear (read) me out.

All people are at the core, social people and as thus survive in a community consisting of our peers, acquaintances, friends & family. These social circles not just guide us in our daily behavior, they also keep us sane and secure in many ways. One effect of these circles is that people follow a code of morality & ethics which has been ingrained by the people around them; initially family then friends & peers and so on.. Our values keep changing much like our circles. But if given the right setting, the very people who are virtuous would actually act selfishly. Even when in normal circumstances they act selfish and we take their behavior as normal. Why is that? It is because of the ingrained animal selfishness that we all have subconsciously and use as a survival tool. Let me give you a corporate example: Any negotiation continues until both sides are satisfied that they got the best deal, true? In a bargain, how can both sides emerge winners? One must loose, right? Wrong. In an negotiation the perception of the parties matter and not the outcome. So long as they both perceive that they are gaining from the deal, it is signed, sealed and delivered without any hiccups. Where is the selfish angle to this you ask. Any deal that we make is for selfish reasons. The person pushing the deal forward stands to gain the business & quite possibly a handsome incentive for the closed deal. The person taking the deal stands to profit from the deal by taking and utilizing or selling the offered product. Thus, even though their could have been a better bargain price for the taker, or a higher price for the maker, both arrive at a common midway where both of them are loosing a part of the profit (in economic terms, some opportunity costs too) while still going ahead with the deal.

Let us take another example. In a family, people work out of love and not selfishly. But yet we see people doing selfish things. Here one can say that love itself is the most selfish emotion. We do something out of love because it makes us feel better. Thus, it is a selfish act, when we act because of love.

Through this roller coaster of arguments, you might have lost the point so let me put it forth again; We are selfish at the most basic & core level. Anyone who says he is not selfish is lying (he may be oblivious to the it). The best thing we can do is accept & endorse that we are selfish instead of continuously trying figure out ways around it.

Universal Brotherhood Day

It was a warm summer evening. The monsoon had been playing hide and seek and so far no one had been able to find it. The people were in place and they were waiting for the birthday boy. No, don't get me wrong, I am still talking about the Universal Brotherhood day celebrations at Lodge Star of Agra on 24th June, this year. It is just that one of the oldest and senior most member of our Lodge also celebrates his birthday on this auspicious day. Very Worshipful Brother, G.G. Mathur celebrates his birthday along with all the Freemasons in the world on Brotherhood day.

This year, when the Lodge is in its 128th year of holding its meetings, we are proud to have not a few but over half a doxen members who have been serving Lodge for over 25 years, with a couple of them being around for over 40years. We are also proud to have a few father-son members to the likes of W.Bro.S.B. Agarwal and Bro.Sumit Agarwal, V.W.Bro.H.R.Debara and W.Bro.P.H.Debara. In fact, V.W.Bro. Debara and W.Bro.P.H.Debara are 3rd and 4th generation Freemasons. In fact W.Bro. P.H.Debara was initiated as a Lewis at the age of 18 and is one of the youngest master in the Lodge Star of Agra's history. He is a devout mason, travelling the length of the country to attend regional and grand lodge meetings. He has a plethora of of knowledge on Freemasonry, both from first hand and also through his interaction during his travels as a Freemason. He was recently appointed the ARGM (Assistant Regional Grand Master) in the Northern Regional Grand Lodge, earning him the nick name from us as the PHD (his initials) in Freemasonry.

Overall, this Brotherhood Day celebrations were just like former years, with games for ladies and guests with the gents enjoying the casual conversations over drinks. The highlight of the evening, obviously, was V.W.Bro. G.G.Mathur cutting his birthday cake, thronged by his family and friends from the Lodge.

Jaywalking: Politically incorrect.

The Indian political scene is getting from bad to worse, to down right nasty. Achuttanand (forgive the spelling) was crucified for being pro-party (or was it anti party). Mayawati and congress, read Sonia Gandhi, are at loggerheads for a small pie of the most populous state.
Recently, the beaten down BJP has been quite and licking its wounds after being defeated in two elections, back to back. It is the BSP vs Congress battle that is taking center stage right now. CBI is ready to file the charge sheet against Mayawati for disproportionate assest case from 2003. Imagine that Maywati was not even the CM at the time. Now with the construction of a few thousand crores worth of parks, where would the real income of Ms Mayawati stand???
She is trying everything to make life tough for her political rivals, no wait, that is the UP Govt. without any political agenda. From lathicharging (baton charging) the peacful protestors in Amethi, to arresting the UP Congress chief, for commenting against women and communal harmony (she is woman, mind you). It is all holds barred in the political arena today.
As one of my friend says, "I would run for politics, but I would be killed or threatened to withdraw the next day" That is the problem today. There are people who want to make changes, and know how to bring them about. But the current crop of Leaders are relentless to allow anyone who is not their son, nephew, grandson, even grand nephew to take the lead and actually do something.
I don't like any particular party too much, but the move to get one of India Inc.'s honchos, out of Infosys and into the government's ambitious unique id project was really steal. It really signalled that this time the PM is in control and he wants a corporate approach to governance than the psuedo-socialist approach that left out the needy and helped the greedy.
If NREGS is to achieve its actual target, it should employ people to build roads and infrastructure to help develop the country, and not just have the landless farmers dig soil endlessly, just so that he does some work for the day's pay. Most people in the urban India don't even know that NREGS only asks the labours to dig soil, most of the time, to no constructive result.
We are being told is that inflation is negative. While I used to get pulses at an average of about Rs.45-50 in the beginging of the year, today the rates are almost touching 100 bucks. And they say that with the monsoon in its present state, don't expect it to get any cheaper soon. The dal-roti idom is dieing, forget about housing and clothing. If a person can't feed himself, how do you expect them to work to earn their meals, and living. Although India Inc. is happy and hiring again, but India Inc is only about 15% of the 1.25 billion people in this country.
Lastly, I must agree with Shekhar Kapoor (of Mr. India fame). We must do something soon or loose even Water, Gods gift to man, in a country that worships nature as God; God save us all.

River side!

There is this place in my heart that I long to be... There is this song in my mind that I long to hear...
I am talking about a place in Lucknow, even with my ignorance, I do not know the name of... some of my friends call it Marine Drive, I call it a getaway.
As you know, I have been in love with this city, and it is following up on my love for the city, that I am writing about one of my favourite places in Lucknow. I have been going to this place since I had a bike and was allowed to go out on my own.
I remember going out in the evening, on pretence of some work or the other, and sitting by the river side, watching the sun set, or the moon play hide n seek with the clouds, pondering over so many things...
I still go there often enough, with friends, just to catch up on the new and reminiscence over the 'good-old-days'. I remember taking my friends there, having some take away with us, having it there. The wind, the scene of a city coming to grips with its Nawabi past and the fast pace of the demanding world. It was my place to go and philosophise, or to vent my anger at people/ life in general.
Sometimes, I would go there, just because I missed the place. It is one place where I could go and not think of anything else in the world. That is the feeling I lacked anywhere else in the city/ or the country for that matter; having lived in atleast 3 cities in my small, significant life.
Today, when I go there, we reflect upon the changes in the city, and how nothing seems the same. I have heard so many people from out of town complain: "पहले आप नही पहले हम और सिर्फ़ हम" is the culture now. That is not my bother, as the traditionalist I am, I still practice that culture, and hope that people learn by example, if not by tradition.

The people who have lived in Lucknow would know what, and where I am talking about. The place in the recent past has beared the brunt of the state government's "development projects." Though, I am not complaining about the place, as it has grown from beautiful to marvelous in the last year. The polution from the stone polishing has put Lucknow on the Indian map as one of the top polluted cities. I can't complain, I still love the city, and the place.

Politcal Jaywalk

So far I have refrained myself from commenting on the current turmoil in the political arena but, I feel that every day the politicians are serving out more garbage than serving people. So, here I am with my first Jaywalk into politics. First of all, I would like to clarify that I am not pro-anyone. I am a liberal. With that out of the way, let me begin by saying that the politicians are doing what they do best - Mud Slinging.

Recent spate of politics in India, the largest democracy, and US, the erstwhile free country, has left us wondering WTF! In India, the shoe-gate was toned down, and the religious hate speech by the "other Gandhi" Varun made prime time news. As two widows from the same family fight it out to best their own sons' political carrier, the main agenda is left out in the summer sun, sweating. Let me point out a few things off the top of my mind:

1. Varun would make a better leader anyday than Rahul. Rahul is meticulous and divisive in his ways; agreed. But recent Varun saga puts him in a different league. He knows the pulse of the people more than Rahul does. For those who heard Rahul speak during the no-confidence motion in July last year, did he not remind you of a certain aged RSS champion from the opposition, Atal Bihari Vajpayee. It only goes to show that he is not at all ready to step out of his mother's shadow.

2. Sonia Gandhi uses the shadow of Manmohan Singh to do her work as the alternate PMO. What else would justify her choosing an a champion of reforms who has little to with politics even after 5 years as the PM than a first time MLA. Lets hope she would dare the right wing patriots to wear the crown herself; if she comes to power that is.

3. P.Chidambram, the home minister of our country had a Reebok hearld at him, or was it a Nike. The point is that it wasn't him to be blamed for the what CBI did. It was his predecessor if anyone was to be blamed for it. Still, I condemn what happened. The shoe was not thrown at a person, but at the Home Minister of India. It is the saddest thing to happen, and yet, somehow it is an expression of demcracy. The fact that he guy was let off without any charges is also commendable whereas the Bush shoer got convicted and is in prison.

4. If the leaders of today would stop playing regional politics and conentrate more on the economy, or development and upliftment of people. I mean, is there a single man made monument that they can boast of, built after independence? Mamta Banerjee made it about her personally to seige the Tata Motors plant in West Bengal. While states jumped at the project when it shut down, numerous other projects still hang in balance. Posco plant in Orissa, Dadri power project in UP are just 2 examples.

5. The world has great expectations from Obama, but am more skeptical of him than before he got elected. He is a new world president, but he is no better than some of our own politicians at turning around and going back on promises. Opening up Bush era torcher cases against the officials is just one thing on top of my mind. His approval rating is dropping like the Dow Jones did around his election. I think such a young leader of a country like the US is not right, where people start to live their life when they are 40, he still seems to have some way to go on world politics though.

6. I thought political mud slinging was getting too messy in India with even film stars getting their hands dirty until I read about the French President doing it to fellow world leaders. I don't know what kind of leverage he hopes to derive there, but it is in bad taste all the same.

I would write about more such futalities of politics, but I have to stick to my Indian Idealism too (pun unintended).
So go out and vote, and let me know how it turns out.

The Brotherhood of men

A lot has been written about Freemasonry and I am not going to write about explaining it in detail again. It does warrant a brief description though. It is a soceity, if you want to call it, of men who have the best intentions of spreading three basic principles of scoiety ever since it was founded by humans. Truth, Brotherly Love and Charity. Those are the only three founding principles that hold this fraternity together. If you want to know more about Freemasonry click here. I wanted to recount my expreiences as a mason.


I came to know about Freemasonry through an article I read about it in the newspaper and ever since then have been intrigued by it. I researched about it on the internet a lot as well. Then I came to know my uncle, who lives next door, is a memeber and when I joined the my first job, I asked him to refer me. That is how I came to know, learn and be a Free Mason.

When I first walked into a Freemason Lodge, it was a feeling of elation, a step on the mysterious side. The initiation was more ritualistic and an experience. Instead of just walking into the room and being welcomed with open arms, I was prepared mentally, and physically, to be a mason. But after I crossed the line, and since then, I have felt as much a part of the whole group as a decade old memeber. I never thought that Freemasons had such warmth in their hearts. I feeling that I had always echoed, and also why I felt that I belonged here. I was the youngest memeber and also the only bachelor there. (I remember getting an invite to a memebers' son's wedding which amicably said: "Mrs. & Mr. Jatin Mehrotra") Before I knew it, I was among people, a brother, with people of my grandfather's age and even older, listening, and even life experiences (telling dirty jokes at times too).

I knew what I was there for, and why I wanted to be there, but I also realieased that it wasn't just about the charity which is at the heart of our society. We do a lot of charity work; no doubts there. The other reason, and I might be inviting a little ire here, is that all men need their space. It is also probably one of the reason that Freemasonry has survived for so many centuries. Men need their own space too, period.

Freemasonry is not just a society, although it is often referred as one. In India, it is registered as a charitable trust. The membership of the Lodge always welcome people from all walks of life. Many American Presidents have been members, including the first. Indian kings, Nawabs and now SC Judges, industrialists and sportsmen. They have all been members. We never solicit membership, or ask any friends and family to join. A man must come of his own free will. Its like our notice board says - To be one, Ask one.
I have an incident to recount for every meeting that I have attended, wether in Agra, or anywhere else. That would be in later posts. For now, it would be sufficient to say that it is a different world to be on the other side, and it is an experience different from all other.

Nostalgia!

All of us enter the college to make it big in life. That is to say, to have a degree, a label, and a job to make a career. We don't give much thought to finding new friends, except new boy/girlfriends for perhaps. It was with a similar feel that I entered my college. Although I had applied for a few colleges for graduation, but the one I ended up at was the one I knew from day one, it was going to be a habit.
I did make some very good friends in grads, but every year my core group seemed to change. For the first year it was just 4 guys. The second year it was 4 different guys and 4 girls. The final year saw yet another 3 guys and 2 girls. Today, I am in touch with just 2 people, one of them is my business partner, the other is a very good friend, who looked me up on a social networking sites(and to think I used to curse them) after 4 yrs. of college.
From grads. to PG, there was not a single common friend who joined me, though I did carry a relationship forward with one of my professors. She was a part-time lecturer at the time in my new college and we used to debate about the faculty in the new college. It was a precarious situation where I was gossiping about my teachers, with my teacher.
I still have friends that I made in my second college, and I hold them so close to my heart today. Some have withered into memories, some are still on my FB/Orkut friends list. But it is not the same. In college you'd know about the birthdays in the morning of the day. Today, Orkut alerts you 15days in advance. Thats technology for you. Even though you may not know what is happening in your collegues' life, you still wish send him a scrap wishing him happy birthday.
Those treats at the cafeteria have also vanished, or perhaps morphed into fancy luncheons in restaurants. The cake is ordered, not homemade. And so is life.
We so want to be back in college but we never would be the same person if it weren't for those very days. Personally, I am nostalgic about those moments, but I wouldn't give them up or go back and relive them. They are best left untouched, and unscathed for eternity.