Crouching in the corner of my bathroom, I pressed my flushed cheeks against the cold tile floor – that way, I couldn’t feel the tears running down my face. When my relationship ended with my first love, there was no empty pint of Haagen-Dazs, there was no girls’ night out to help me forget. There was just me and the gentle hum of the radiator. I had to ask myself, what else was left? At the time, I couldn’t think of anything but a broken heart.
“‘Tis better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all,” wrote the poet Alfred Lord Tennyson. Some might say this isn’t true, but I know it has to be. While it sounds just right of a New Age preacher, keeping yourself from love is to keep you from yourself. Relationship experience provides us with the knowledge that comes with being hurt. “Every interaction we have with other people serves as a mirror of what we're carrying inside; when we're involved with a partner, this is simply intensified,” said relationship expert Seth Mullins. “Acknowledging that we're the ones creating our personal experience in the first place is the only way to feel empowered to change that experience.” When people don’t learn from their past, they’re bound to repeat the same mistakes (i.e., different face, same heartache).
“In some ways, my ex was perfect for me, but in others we weren’t so compatible. Both the good and the bad taught me about what I want next time,” relationship blogger Rachel Kramer Bussel told dating site The Frisky. Past relationships can show us our strengths and our weaknesses, and they can guide us toward longer-lasting relationships in the future. Ignoring this opportunity for growth only allows bitterness, anger and depression to endure. Every relationship will teach you something new about yourself and what you’re looking for, Bussel was able to discover what she needed after examining her past. “It’s rare to find someone I can truly let go with,” she said, “but that’s what I want in the future: someone who lets me be me.”
Even though I knew my friends were right when they told me that I’d move on, that things would get better, it was the last thing I wanted to hear during that time. What I would come to realize, is that there’s something about love that makes us forget the pain that happens when it ends. Love doesn’t have to paralyze you, it can empower you. As my favorite philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche would say, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”
“‘Tis better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all,” wrote the poet Alfred Lord Tennyson. Some might say this isn’t true, but I know it has to be. While it sounds just right of a New Age preacher, keeping yourself from love is to keep you from yourself. Relationship experience provides us with the knowledge that comes with being hurt. “Every interaction we have with other people serves as a mirror of what we're carrying inside; when we're involved with a partner, this is simply intensified,” said relationship expert Seth Mullins. “Acknowledging that we're the ones creating our personal experience in the first place is the only way to feel empowered to change that experience.” When people don’t learn from their past, they’re bound to repeat the same mistakes (i.e., different face, same heartache).
“In some ways, my ex was perfect for me, but in others we weren’t so compatible. Both the good and the bad taught me about what I want next time,” relationship blogger Rachel Kramer Bussel told dating site The Frisky. Past relationships can show us our strengths and our weaknesses, and they can guide us toward longer-lasting relationships in the future. Ignoring this opportunity for growth only allows bitterness, anger and depression to endure. Every relationship will teach you something new about yourself and what you’re looking for, Bussel was able to discover what she needed after examining her past. “It’s rare to find someone I can truly let go with,” she said, “but that’s what I want in the future: someone who lets me be me.”
Even though I knew my friends were right when they told me that I’d move on, that things would get better, it was the last thing I wanted to hear during that time. What I would come to realize, is that there’s something about love that makes us forget the pain that happens when it ends. Love doesn’t have to paralyze you, it can empower you. As my favorite philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche would say, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”
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